It seems like every few months or so, I run into an old friend that I haven't seen in years or an acquaintance and they always ask the question. There are several version of this question, let me break them down for you:
The Polite: "Are you planning on adding to your family?"
The Pushy: "When are you going to have another baby?"
And The Southern: "You know, E is almost 5. If you're going to have another baby, it's better to do it sooner than later. Don't you want your kids close together?"
It really doesn't matter how it gets said, it always makes me cringe a little. I usually just laugh it off or say, "We haven't thought about it", or " We have our hands full with the one". I say these things to keep from having to talk about the real reason...we can't.
I won't get into all the details, so the short version is this: When I was in high school, I was told that I would never be able to have children of my own. I was told that I would have to use an egg donor. Since I was dating my future husband in high school, I was spared from having that conversation later down the road. So, we got married and went about our business until 5 years later, I was pregnant! How could it be? I guess God had bigger plans for us. We went on to have a beautiful healthy baby girl.
Well, obviously, we thought that the doctors were mistaken when they told me I would never have children on my own. We felt like it really wasn't that hard for us at all. I mean, we weren't even thinking about it.
When our baby girl turned two, we thought we were ready for another child, only this time it wasn't easy. It just never happened for us. I know there are plenty of other options we could explore to expand our family, but at the time (and this time), none of them felt (seem) right for us.
She will be five in September and I am now in a state of acceptance. There will always be a part of me that wonders if she will wish she had siblings or if she ever feels lonely, but mostly I get excited thinking about all of the things we get to do with her and all of the attention that we can give her (although, sometimes this is when a sibling would come in handy).
We live in a great neighborhood, filled with kids, and her cousin's live right around the corner. She won't be lonely. They are like her siblings and that is why we moved here. Plus, my heart is so full of love for her and Will and I'm not sure I could share it with anyone else (as I'm yelling down the hall for her to go to sleep while typing this).
So, to answer the question, we're not. It's just the one. She is a happy, fun, animated, imaginative, tenacious, and stubborn kid. To us, she's perfect and we'll be thankful for that.
*Every family is different and I would love to hear your comments. This is only my voice and not meant to influence anyone one way or the other. Premature Ovarian Failure is rare and cannot be cured, but there is treatment and options for anyone who desires a family.